Wanted: Confidence

I haven't been very motivated lately. Maybe its because I've fallen into the same old routine with work and coming home. Life is too short to go from day to day doing the same un-inspiring things. So at 8:30 AM this morning, feeling a mix of "un-inspiredness" and a case of the Monday blues, my mind ran across all these nifty things I would like to do with my life.

I am really glad I got a chance to hang out with a friend this weekend and follow her on her job. It was a chance for me to become inspired. I have alot to learn and the only way to learn is through trial and error. I wish I was confident enough to seek out a couple to take pictures of because right now my only volunteers are kids and teenagers. And while I like to photograph them, there are some things you just can't do with them..

...like this...

What are you inspired by? Whatever it is, I hope you have the confidence to go out and do it. Hopefully I will be there soon.

Blazing

Blazer: Target, Shirt: FCUK, Jeans: Citizens of Humanity, Shoes: Nine West, Necklace: Forever 21 and Ebay.

People say when girls are little they dream about there wedding day. I never once dreamed about the dress I would wear, the flowers, the cake, none of it when I was young. What I did dream about was the man that would love me whole-heartedly (is that a word?). When I was about 15 years old I realized the kind of love that I hoped to find.

My grandmother had just passed away after a long fight with cancer. It crushed my grandfather's heart, but he was strong for the family. He arranged everything for her funeral without a cry. When it came time to place a flower on her casket, he broke down. It was the first time many of us saw him cry. He visited her grave so often that he had a special chair and umbrella that was stashed away in his car. This is what I know as love.

Love sets your heart on fire.

Growing Old

Warning this could be considered a "Debbie Downer" post, but its just the way I feel.

Last night in bed Hubs and I were talking about something and I told him he was going to give me a heart attack. He said that I am not supposed to be the first to go. And with those words the bubble popped, I was brought back to the real world.

Sometimes I feel like my life is a dream, not a dream as in everything is good all the time, more like the life I am living is all in my head. Or that I am really someone else looking in on another person's life. I rarely ever think about getting old, but when I do I am afraid of death. I am afraid that when that time comes I won't be ready, that I will leave too much behind. Maybe I feel this way because there are still so many other experiences I have yet to check off my bucket list, so many other feelings I have not felt, so many things I have not seen.

I sometimes wonder what happens to my soul after death, what it will actually feel like to die.

Am I alone on fearing death?

Lounging Around

As excited as I am that tomorrow is the start of a long weekend for me, I am sad that Hubs will probably work part of the day. So tomorrow I am going to lounge around at the house, try to see if the spa can fit me in for a massage (one that I desperately need), and possibly take some more pictures. I have only ever gotten a Swedish massage and am contemplating a deep tissue because the Swedish did nothing for me. I am thinking about asking them to do a lighter deep tissue? Is there such a thing? If you have ever had a deep tissue were you really sore the next day?

Here is something I wore when we were walking around in Playa del Carmen at night. Some of you may be wondering why some of my pictures I crop off my face and some I don't, well truth is I am not photogenic. I rather just cut my face off.

Tank and Skirt: Forever 21, Necklace: Ebay

I am normally a skirt/dress girl, but I normally don't wear anything this short. It doesn't look that short in the front but in the back it is. I always have to be careful because "baby got back" as my hubs would say it. I always have a hard time finding pants that fit me in the hips and the waist.

For those of you who wear short skirts, do you get self conscious about it? How do you prevent a wardrobe malfunction?

Have a wonderful 4th of July ladies!

Currently Listening: Outta Here - Esmee Denters

The Perfect Gift

Sometimes I dread buying people gifts because I try really hard to find something that they would like. I am pretty good at remembering random things people say that they want, so sometimes I am lucky and can find just that. But other times I am left searching tons of stores for a month. I literally looked for a particular "just because" gift for 2 months. Something about giving a person a gift they love gives me so much joy.

But sometimes the greatest gift is a perfect moment, one that you makes you smile from ear to ear. My latest simple, but perfect moments:
-Laying on your shoulder on Sunday evening helping you with your Sudoku,
-You re-enacting my favorite scene from Superbad,
-When people in your network group say, "I've heard so much about his wife, so glad to finally meet you"

These are the moments that I hope I will remember when I am old and gray, especially the Superbad one. It makes me fall in love with you a little more each time.

Life gets busy and we sometimes forget to give ourselves a gift every now and then. It doesn't have to be something material, but remember to take time for yourself and do something you love. I took some time out to take photos of our little cousin, a little something for his mom, but also for me. Capturing his innocence.


**The first picture looks a little grainy, I may have to update it tonight with the actual file.

The Short of it

These past few days have been extremely hot in the Texas heat with "feel like" temperatures of 100+. I normally take the bus to work and waiting for it in this heat is horrible. Not to mention I am normally in black slacks and a blouse. Currently at my stop there is no cover, but it does have a little bit of shade, which gets taken up by the older people who get out there early.

This heat is making my hair hideous. I have to admit, I am a sweat-er. I don't sweat profusely, but it is enough to make my bangs look hideous. I actually really like my bangs, but its not cutting it in this heat. So, I've been thinking about chopping my hair off. Rewind the clock to a December 2007, I had short hair.

I started growing my hair out not too long after this picture was taken because we got engaged and I wanted long hair for the wedding. Here are a few styles that I have been looking at, but some of them have bangs which is part of my problem now :(

Agness Deyn

Katie Holmes

Charlize Theron

Do you think I should go ahead and chop it off? Which of these do you think would work for me? Or, is there any other cute you have seen? Or should I just keep my long hair?

Working It

I found these photos of a work outfit that I took months ago but never had the opportunity to post it. The dress code at work is business casual, but sometimes you wouldn't think so with some of the stuff people wear into work. Even though it is Jeans Friday, you shouldn't wear cropped jeans with tennis shoes to work. Anyway here I am in my office hoping no one comes by.

Top: BCBG, Skirt: Express, Belt: Forever 21, Shoes: Aldo

I tend to wear this skirt alot because it is a great basic black skirt. I have a few basic items that I really love and have worn them out. For example a pair of flip flops from Target. I know it is nothing special, but it was the perfect shade of pewter that went with everything! It wasn't one of those foam flip flops, but one of the nicer ones?

Now when I buy a basic item that I love, I buy two of them. I always thought why would I need two of the same thing? Well, now I see it is worth it to spend the extra money for another one if it is something you use all the time and can wear out. That's why I bought two of the burnout tees from Express that I wore in this post. One in white and the other in grey.

Do you buy basic items you love in multiples?